the catcher in the rye

finally got my hand on this book. will write about it later after finish reading it. hihi.

Kenapa?

kenapa blog-blog yang aku terjumpa, baca dan rasa seronok kebanyakannya stop menulis? ke diorang ada medium penulisan yang lain?

setakat ni tehtarikgelasbesar je steady. twittez, kolamudangbatulapan, penguburan prosa, j abdullah, bangun berdiri sume bungkus. aiyo.

Pensunatan Jiwa (Versi hilang dara)

A friend of mine asked me to read back what I wrote 3 years ago on friendster. pensunatan jiwa. He didn't tell me why. kenapa nak baca balik apa yang aku tulis dulu? aku ingat dia ada tulis something funny untuk dikongsi ataupun sengaja ajak online guna friendster since facebook terlalu glemer dan dah jadi membosankan bila hari-hari aku pandang.

Bila aku baca, berbakul-bakul perasaan datang menyerang serentak. terperanjat aku. betul ke aku penah tulis benda alah ni dulu?

pensunatan jiwa adalah tulisan aku mengenai kehidupan. apa yang aku tahu pasal kehidupan sebenarnya? aku baru 23 tahun masa aku tulis. aku rasa bodoh gila bila aku baca balik apa yang aku tulis. rasa macam nak delete semuanya, biarkan kebodohan aku tu lenyap dari dunia internet. aku tulis pasal pembersihan jiwa, pasal cara kita patut jalankan hidup dan macam-macam lagi macam aku ni seorang bijak pandai berusia 200 tahun.

tapi bila perasaan berbakul-bakul tu mula mendap dalam pemikiran aku, datanglah pendekar hitam memberi salam. oh, baru aku faham. setelah berbincang dengan pendekar hitam tentang apa yang aku patut buat, aku start kereta pegi puncak jalil. sampai punca jalil aku bertapa kat satu gua gelap yang mana tempat-tempat macam ni memang hishamudin rais benci. cukup 5 jam bertapa, aku balik rumah dengan senyuman.

p/s: hari-hari kita kena belajar benda baru, apatah lagi bila umur dah tua-tua ni.

A thought in the darkness

It is the second night of my staying here. Quite an experience. My body hurt a bit as the consequence of going snorkeling for the whole day. Finally, got a piece of paper to write. A nice old man gave it to me. Right now I'm on my bed (it's a 11 double deckers bedded dorm) writing with the help of light from my cell phone.

There're about 22 people sharing the room with me. It's quite uncomfortable to mingle around with people I don't really know at first. Turn out, it's not too bad at all. Bapak (a guy who looks older than anyone else), is the friendliest one. He told me a lot of stories about his career and marriages. Not like I really interested to listen to his mumblings, but it's just nice to know more about people rather than judging them from distance.

I've been searching for a paper to write this thought when I found a note in my wallet written "remember us, remember our stories". Eja gave it to me. I, until now am unable to express how I felt toward this break up to anyone. regrets, sadness, frustration are emotionally bugging my mind. Guess it was finally didn't work between us, that's what I might answer if anyone asking about me and Eja. Hopefully she'll meet a better guy. She's a nice lady. Strong on the inside and out. People should treat her nicely. She was my best politic discusser. Most of the time we're in different side of opinion. We used to debate and arguing for hours.

I hate to be a living sad man. Right now I'm trying to heal and moving on. I should get serious with the band. Start collecting materials and stuffs or maybe continuing on study for degree (I'm just a diploma holder)

I'm sleepy already. Do we always need to end a writing properly to please the reader? No, we don't have to. Good night.

1.22 am, may 2nd 2011

Perhentian Island.